Addicted to learning

Normally I hate change. I admit it. I was in denial about it for a long time, thinking I could just roll with the punches with the best of them and to a certain extent that’s true. However, once I get set in a routine with something change is not my friend. Usually.

I had a friend who used to tell me I would break up with a guy because he opened a jar of mustard wrong. Which was half true, I would break up with people at the drop of a hat, although never due to mustard jars, and it was fine. There are new people at my office all the time (its commonly referred to as “high turnover”) and it doesn’t bother me. I moved across the city and while annoying as fuck, I think I came out okay. Needed a new car, also okay with that.

Every time I see an ad for a job or career or school I think I should enroll. I admit it: I absolutely love to learn. Probably feeds directly into my need to be right, but that’s for a therapy session and not this blog. At least not today. Last night I got the final jeopardy question right and it was nearly orgasmic. I ran around the house yelling “I KNEW CRIMEA! I KNEW CRIMEA!” No one cared. Anyway, I honestly don’t think I’m that smart so when I impress myself I take the credit and pat myself on the back. I have looked into becoming a professional student but since I enjoy things like running hot water, electricity, cable television, food… can’t afford to be doing that.

I love my job. It’s the only career I’ve ever wanted. I worked my ass off to get here. Every now and again I remind myself that I earned the tattoo with my Bar number on it. That years and years ago I would have killed to be where I am now.

I heard once that if you learn something new you get a new wrinkle in your brain. Sounds false, as Einstein’s brain did not appear to be any more wrinkly than anyone elses but that could be due to his lifestyle so to speak. I read Isaacson’s biography of Einstein and Einstein was a genius (although kind of a dick to his first wife- bribing her with your Nobel Prize money to get a divorce is just poor form) I am uncertain how much he actually learned. That may not make sense. If you’re a natural at something, how much do you really LEARN about whatever it is you’re good at? You just accept the fact that your body can throw a ball really hard or far or you can pick up an instrument and play it better than others but normally you don’t study the mechanics, the muscle memory, the music score… anyway, back to my addiction.

When I get a new piece of information its a high. A part of my brain lights up, releases that happy hormone and I’m like ooooh yeah, that’s the stuff. That may also explain why I love my job: the law changes all the time. Every trial is different. You have to come up with new strategies and techniques nearly every day. I also visit museums whenever I can. Yes, I watch Jeopardy with great frequency. I used to read the encyclopedia back when it was a bunch of books that sat on my parent’s bookshelves. I remember every single time I had a question my mom would answer “Go look it up.” Probably why I compulsively Google things on my phone when there is a question about the truth of something. I read. And read. And read. I will read a bottle of ketchup if its the only thing in the room.

Intelligence is sexy. The smarter you are the more attracted to you I am. There is a rational limit. I mean, Neil deGrasse Tyson, maybe but Stephen Hawking is one too far.

In short, I’m a nerd hot for other nerds.

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