As the joke goes, if con is the opposite of pro then the opposite of Congress is progress.

This could be another long post because the amount of crap congress has rapidly attempted to quietly shove under the rug has been amazing, quite frankly.

I have a friend who has been keeping a running list of all the … ahem.. fun things Congress has been doing while our proverbial backs were turned. She does it every week. Here’s her not entirely scientific nor completely exhaustive list for the last week (that’s right just one week):

Trump says he will cut funding for:  Dept of Justice’s Violence against Women’s programs (because you can sexually assault us, remember), the National Endowment for the Arts (because I mean come on, museums, plays, and symphonies are just so BORING), the National Endowment for the Humanities, Center for Public Broadcasting (um hello, who really needs Sesame Street, NOVA, or unbiased documentaries), Minority Business Development (because racism is just angry minorities being angry), Economic Development Administration, International Trade Administration (because “America First”), Manufacturing Extension Partnership,  Office of Community Oriented Policing Services, Legal Services Corporation, Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice, Environmental and Natural Resources under the Dept of Justice, Overseas Private Investment Corporation, UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (cuz we all know that’s a myth), Office of Electricity Deliverability and Energy Reliability (cuz power is over-rated), Office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy, and Office of Fossil Energy. But hey, talk is cheap, right? Let’s see where he really slashes and burns, amiright?

But wait there’s more! If you pay attention now you can also realize, free of charge, the following:

Trump ordered all regulatory powers of all federal agencies frozen. Read that again. Read it closely. ALL. REGULATORY. POWERS. OF ALL FEDERAL AGENCIES.

Trump ordered the National Park Service to stop using social media after they exposed the lies of the photos of the inauguration. The park service gave trump the middle finger and continued to tweet facts about science. God Bless Them. Science FTW!

In 1 singular day 230 “protestors” were arrested, who turned out to be medics and journalists, along side legal observers. Seems legit.

A member of the International Workers of the World was shot in the stomach during a protest in Seattle. He remains in critical condition.

Trump hired about 40 people to cheer for him during his meeting with the CIA while he framed himself as the victim of a mean, rogue press (excellent use of funds). Then his press secretary went out and repeated the same speech and added a few lies. This, in turn, led Trumps political fuck buddy KellyAnn Conway to call lies “Alternative Facts.” Yeah, I’m gonna try that at work and see how it goes over.

Trump reinstates the global gag order which defunds international groups that even say “Abortion” as a medical option.

Trump’s press secretary threatens war with China. China says “Bring it.” Good thing I learned some Mandarin before heading over there a few years ago. Sounds like I’m gonna need it.

Trump again berates the press and talks about illegal voting costing him the popular vote.

Trump demands the EPA stop using social media or face complete freeze of all grants and contracts.

Trump orders the USDA to shut the fuck up entirely. Do not use social media, do not publish papers, do not conduct research. Everything has to go through White House approval… man, this sounds familiar…. was it Hitler, Stalin, or Polpot that did something like that… wait, North Korea? Or was it in Orwell’s 1984? I get my crazy dictatorships mixed up sometimes.

Trump decided its time that whole North Dakota Pipeline got kicked into high gear, because fuck the environment (as evidenced above) and fuck native americans.

We also have the Wall going up and the Muslim ban. But it’s not ALL Trump’s fault, or that of his personal/political lap dogs.

The Director of the department of Health and Human Services called federal guidelines for transgendered people “absurd.” Cuz fuck all you confused people.

It has been revealed that cops confiscated cell phones to search emails and messages of those involved in demonstrations on inauguration day. They violated the civil rights of protestors, breached the first amendment of journalists, and violated client- attorney confidentiality by doing so. Now many of them are facing FELONY charges. Seems reasonable, right?

He called civil rights leader and political activist Representative John Lewis’s  5th district, in essence, a cesspool because Lewis said he felt Trump was not a legitimate president. Lewis had a true legal concern and voiced his feelings. Trump got pissy and called names. At a civil rights leader. And for the record, the 5th district is beautiful.

Congress is also doing its best to work around Roe v. Wade and repeal Obamacare. Republicans rolled back parts of the Endangered Species Act. Because fuck animals.

If you haven’t heard of the REINS Act, find out about it RIGHT FUCKING NOW. It requires that any future major regulation adopted by any executive agency must be approved by specific legislation in each House of Congress  (as in the house and senate) and it has to be done within 70 days to take effect. If you can’t grasp the phenomenal fuck that the bill is starting, let’s put it like this: all health, safety, and consumer/labor protection acts will fail with no accountability and without a debate. And without Obamacare to save your injured and probably now unemployed ass. Oh and they voted to repeal any and all regulatory acts that have taken effect in the last 8 months under a different president WITH ONE VOTE. Why only one, singular vote? Because the House admitted there is no time for individual votes on each rule, which is EXACTLY WHAT THE REINS ACT IS DOING. So they voted to enact an act which they admit they don’t have time to actually follow.

Here’s the REAL kicker, in my opinion: because everyone’s favorite dictators the Koch brothers own most of the media, there’s barely a single by-line anywhere to alert you that congress voted that they don’t give a fuck about you or your well-being. Nice.

Btw, if you’re still hung up on the whole “Obamacare” thing, feel free to read the US Uncut article chronicling the doctor estimated death toll after repealing Obamacare (about 43,956 people).  I can’t make you care about me, or anyone else, and as an adult I assume you learned in your youth that caring about others is kind of an important thing to do. Aside from making you a nice person, empathy is the cornerstone of not being a sociopath. But hey, you’re an adult and if you can sleep at night knowing some kid in Iowa isn’t gonna get treatment so you can afford a new pickup, that’s on you. I can’t convince you to care and quite frankly, I shouldn’t have to.

On a way more local level, Oklahoma decided that if a chick is passed out from drinking you can totally force oral sex on her! Remember kids, the President says sexual assault is A-Okay. For the first time ever I feel like making sure every single county in Oklahoma is a dry county (more things I never thought I’d say).

Back to the Feds- Congress introduced a bill to basically amputate us from any connection to the UN (because “America First” remember?). The bill not only wants us to basically turn in our membership card to the UN, but the UN will no longer be housed here (“Foreigners not welcome”), it ends diplomatic immunity, and severs us from the World Health Organization (America First). If it gets signed, it does not take effect for two years but let’s just imagine the issues with this. We kick out the UN, we are not playing nice with others. And the others will notice. You don’t want our help, that’s fine. There goes all your embassies, all your trade agreements, all your peace accords. Take your ball and go home, Trump, just don’t expect to sit at our lunch table later. The entire WORLD gets to make decisions without us. I can’t speak for everyone, but I want to know what decisions are being made by the rest of the entire planet, especially those that could effect me, like, oh…. let’s say… WAR. We end diplomatic immunity, no one will want to be here anyway because if your country starts trouble, all we have to do is have a seatbelt violation to lock your rep up until this all blows over. If you think the WHO isn’t important, you need to start looking around at how many international flights leave and arrive in the US every day. I bet you’d like to know if any of those frequent flyers went somewhere that had a recent outbreak of a highly contagious or fatal disease, wouldn’t you?

Continued in next blog.

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